instagram post: *video of a woman gently encouraging a hesitant child to go down a slide*
the first comment: this woman is violently pressuring her child to do something that they are clearly terrified to do, children should NEVER have to do anything they don’t want to do, this kid is being abused and will grow up to hate their mother i hope someone calls cps on her
the second comment: kids are so thin skinned these days if it were my kid i would push it down the slide and laugh at it if it cried. this is the only way we will win the culture war
the third comment: she should have used a condom. this would make a great condom ad. no one cares that someone came in you. kids are not human. i hate kids so much.
the fourth comment: DM ME “”“HELP”“” 🤝💪😤 I AM PAYING OFF DEBT OF FIRST 5 🎉 TO DM 💯💯💵💵 DON’T MISS THIS OPPORTUNITY 😍
Scott Pilgrim Takes Off, an all-new original series starring Michael Cera & the rest of the Scott Pilgrim cast, releasing November 17th only on Netflix.
spent my breaks today watching old 1d interviews and like. not one question answered in those 5 years they were together they had the training and psychological resilience of KGBs agent but over mundane shit like ‘what is this song about’. waterboarding could not extract that information from Niall’s mouth.
absolute best 1d question dodging tactic though was them all taking the world’s most awkward beat then louis saying something vaguely bitchy yet completely unintelligible in the strongest doncaster accent to grace the mortal ear (taking a minimum of 45 seconds for the human brain to decode), meanwhile zayn’s presence would simply be leaving the room in every metaphysical shape and form, and niall would be laughing in the back for no reason. lynchian. I think that’s the tactic the CIA used to convince witnesses they were having a stroke.
“a movie that feels like a movie” sorry that was just his instinctive winter soldier training you wouldn’t understand
Every time I’m in an airport, I think I should drastically change my life: Kill the kid stuff, start to act my numbers, set fire to the clutter and creep below the radar like an escaped canine sneaking along the fence line. I’d be cable-knitted to the hilt, beautiful beyond buying, believe in the maker and fix my problems with prayer and property. Then, I think of you, home with the dog, the field full of purple pop-ups—we’re small and flawed, but I want to be who I am, going where I’m going, all over again.
as someone who was on tumblr in 2011 when suits premiered and it seemed like no one in the world watched it except for tumblrinas who genuinely (and correctly) believed that the main characters were in a 24/7 Dom/sub workplace relationship, i can’t even begin to explain how disorienting the past few weeks have been
